@causticbob: My computer crashed and now all the other computers have slowed down so they can see what's happening.
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@Midgetspar: Stole my neighbors family portrait & got it tattooed on my back. Now I'm standing in their living room facing the wall 2 see if they notice.
@WetzelGeek: I pick up my dog's poop with empty Snickers wrappers. What I do with it afterwards is strictly on a need-to-know basis.