@jakob_huber: "What's your greatest strength?" Shadow puppetry "Seriously?" [interviewer presses intercom button] "Pat, please bring a flashlight in here"

@KyleDodsonFunny: Watching married couples argue in Bed Bath & Beyond is my Game of Thrones.

@Carmel_Coleman: You're more likely to find something when you're not looking for it. Right now, I'm not looking for a bunch of cash. I hope this shit works.

@EliseRose5: Don't be an ass, be an arse. Do it with class.

@TheOneTrueDisco: If Spider Man eats too much fruit he squirts Silly String.