@juneohara65: My corpse will likely be too lazy for rigor mortis.
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@Fred_Delicious: "son, I've had to throw my golf socks out" "Why dad? cos you got... A HOLE IN ONE? HAHA" "No son. I killed a man. They're covered in blood"
@GrantTanaka: when the doctor starts putting on latex gloves at your next physical, a fun thing to do is to whip out your own pair & put them on too
@UncleBob56: Stopped the microwave at 0:01 AND stopped the gas pump at an even $50.00! *Adds Bomb Squad Specialist to resume.
@EdgarAllanLo: Me: You can't honestly expect me to believe this house isn't haunted; I can see the ghost walls from here. Realtor: Those are windows.