@Playing_Dad: My cousin had his hand amputated in a tragic accident. Luckily, he was able to find a replacement at a second hand store.
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@AnOrangeSNES: A cannibal passes a Girl Scout cookie stand. "How many girl scouts are these cookies made of?" he asks with a large smile on his face.
@stephenjmolloy: Me: "This new flavour of Pringles is horrible." Wife: "You're eating a tube of tennis balls."
@Donna_McCoy: You don't hear much about Snow White's eighth dwarf, but they should never have trusted Clumsy with an axe.