@Playing_Dad: My cousin had his hand amputated in a tragic accident. Luckily, he was able to find a replacement at a second hand store.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@StarWarsProblms: [at the shooting range] Recruit: Sir, I missed every target. Officer: Perfect. *makes him a stormtrooper*
@omerwahaj: If at first you don't like the beard on your face, don't worry; it will eventually grow on you.
@ka_unplugged: There are two types of people on Twitter. Those who can take a joke, and those who will copy it and claim it as their own
@BoogTweets: 911: Sir, I understand you think it did it against your will and was aggressive but we can't arrest an auto flush toilet. Me: I WASNT READY