@foxxy311: My coworker doesn't like me which is weird bc her husband does.
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@Book_Krazy: * Kindergarten* Hi kids! I'm the homeroom mom for your class. [writes name on chalkboard] [Boy Raises hand] We can't read. No one can read
@SamGrittner: *opens up briefcase in court, revealing snakes* "Wait. Then that means-" [cut to my nemesis waking up surrounded by my opening statement]
@AthenaMystique: Dear Google Maps, Don't insult me by telling me to head "southwest". If I knew where southwest was, I wouldn't be using you. Kthnxbye
@TheWoodenslurpy: Did you know that if you drop and break a piece of folk art, it just turns into more folk art?