@OhNoSheTwitnt: My coworker has inspirational quotes up in her cubicle and one of them says "choose your destiny" so I guess she plays Mortal Kombat too.
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@Thedudish: My boss asked if I had any special skills so I put my hand under my armpit to make fart sounds. We laughed and now I'm clearing out my desk
@IamEnidColeslaw: There is a dude in a fedora sitting next to you on the bus. Is he: A. a ghost hunter B. a virgin C. a sword collector D. all of the above
@HeroineAddict: *scrolls ur TL* *finds ur tweet from 2 yrs ago.* *eerily similar to mine from day before* "She stole my tweet AND built a time machine?!"
@dreamthievin: No clean Tupperware today, so I brought my yogurt to work tied up in a condom. No longer allowed to use the employee fridge.