@CakeThrottle: My coworker is pregnant and they passed a card around and I didn't know what to write so I just put HAVE A GOOD BABY TANYA
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@GoldenSpirals: He tripped, and the laundry basket fell to floor, spilling clothes everywhere. I sat back and watched it all unfold.
@NINETIREDBUGS: the moon has NO GENDER and IS MY BEST FRIEND and SAID YOU GUYS HAVE TO BE NICE TO ME OR IT'S CANCELING TIDES FOREVER
@nathanfielder: Experiment: text your parents "got 2 grams for $40" then right after "Sorry ignore that txt. Not for you" Then tweet pic of their response.