@VestaTot: My coworker just took a broom and pole vaulted over the cubicle partition to confront the woman who accused her of being on speed.
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@GrantTanaka: I keep a knife in my Bible so if someone wants to kill me, I ask to read it & when I get to the 6th Commandment, I stab them in the face.
@AntozWolf: I got really excited when she talked about a motorboat date, but as it turns out, she just wanted to take a ride on the lake. *sigh*
@zachreinert03: In Texas you're allowed to shoot someone just for being on your property. Man if I lived there I'd host sooo many parties