@VestaTot: My coworker just took a broom and pole vaulted over the cubicle partition to confront the woman who accused her of being on speed.
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@houffy: Apparently Mr. Neeson's "particular set of skills" is terrible at keeping his family from getting kidnapped.
@iSmashFizzle: Me: It's not illegal to be rude to cops. Them: Well, if you poke a bear, what do you expect? Me: That's why we don't make bears cops.
@BigHeb7: I've been saying I'll sleep when I'm dead for so long, I'm starting to really look forward to dying.