@hazelmotes1: My coworker left my office an hour ago, but the smell of his cologne remains, like some kind of douchbag ghost.
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@trutherbot: 2,000 calories of junk food costs just $3.52 a day. 2,000 calories of dense nutritional foods costs $36.32 a day. No wonder people are fat.
@jdbalani: The self checkout lane was probably invented by a guy who was sent to the store to buy tampons.
@TheAlexP: Sometimes when I get a compliment I stop, moonwalk out of the room and yell "Thank You "just to leave them hanging.