@jaymahonei: my dad always makes fun of me for taking selfies all the time but if he didn't want such a beautiful child he should've kept it in his pants
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@Thunder_Fart: Did you know that when you meet an Indian you can CHOOSE not to mention slumdog millionaire?
@Shot_Of_Cabo: Two guys in CA walked off cliff playing Pokémon. Natural selection accelerated at 9.8 m/sec².
@RealSamHarwood: I shouted "the blue Subaru with an Obama sticker left its lights on!" at Mt. Bachelor and had the *entire* hill to myself for an hour