@jaymahonei: my dad always makes fun of me for taking selfies all the time but if he didn't want such a beautiful child he should've kept it in his pants
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@notacroc: BOSS: it's national replace H's with F's day ME: really? BOSS: yep, you're hired! ME: hahaha-wait BOSS: get out ME: what the huck?
@jergarl: My 7yo has a friend over and I'm pretty sure he learned how to whisper during a hurricane.
@SortaBad: Me: goodnight moon Moon: It's 6pm Me: I know but I'm tired Moon: I literally just got here