@ISOremarkable: my dad didn't let me date untill i was pregnant...
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@nachosarah: when I have dinner with a vegetarian I order two steaks to use as a bun for my third steak
@BuckyIsotope: WIFE: *yells into basement* Our savings account is entirely empty. Do you know what happened? ME: *assembling robot monkey butler* No idea
@SteveSuckington: Interviewer: why did you leave your last job? Me: hmm that's a tough one. I guess I'd probably have to say listening is my biggest strength