@JasonMan811: My dad is in Hawaii for travel...
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@TheBoydP: [two coworkers walk into my office] Coworkers: Hey! It's your two favorite people here to ask you a question! Me: Where?
@scullymike: Would love to do a Trump family sitcom, but would have to make up a character to be "the smart one"
@MarcusOreally: Boredom is the leading cause of pregnancy. Unless you're on Twitter 24/7. Then it becomes the leading form of birth control.