@JasonMan811: My dad is in Hawaii for travel...
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@simoncholland: I was going to sign this permission slip to let my daughter watch The Grinch at school but I haven't heard back from North Korea yet.
@shadonium: Me: do you love me? Siri: I'm only your assistance. Me: if you don't, I will jump off a bridge. Siri:there are two bridges near you.
@captaincoximus: If I could pick a superpower it would be to clone myself so the other me could answer the 4,291,386 questions my 4 year old asks daily
@BoomBoomBetty: Me: I pull a sword from my forehead Nerd: Not realistic M: so dungeons and dragons are real? N: ... M: so, I pull a sword from my forehead