@vicki_gurley: My dad is so cheap that when he dies he is going to walk towards the light and turn it off..
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@NickBossRoss: Are we sure that we're supposed to look for a human to settle down with? Cause I'm discovering I have much more in common with this blanket.
@BuckyIsotope: Barry? Yes Joe Can I borrow Air Force 1? I promised this girl we'd eat at the Pizza Hut in France No Joe *Biden slams fist* THIS IS BULLSHIT
@briangaar: I always carry a pair of shades with me because you never know when you might see a dead body & say something cool
@chapel3929: *deathbed* All that time wasted. When I could have been *looks at family* getting down to this... sick... beat *dies* *widow rolls eyes*