@vicki_gurley: My dad is so cheap that when he dies he is going to walk towards the light and turn it off..
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@notacroc: PETER PIPER: honey i picked another peck of pickled peppers WIFE: [motioning to pantry already full of peppers] peter literally what the fu
@MAngelo505: What I said : Just a trim, please. What hairdresser must've heard : Give me the Kim Jong-un.
@HavocMantis: *goes in bank with finger guns* This is a robbery! "no one'll take you seriously-" *switches to double barrel finger guns* "do what he says"