@KatieKatCubs: My dad likes to come to my office & tell the receptionist he's my parole officer in case you were wondering how I turned out like this.
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@leshnevsky: - Michelle, we must break up... - Oh, I'll kill myself! - That's a nice bonus. Thank you!
@Lisa_Laughs_: I don't mind people that stick their noses in the air. It makes it that much easier to trip them or push them down 10 flights of stairs.
@mattytalks: Girl are you a University of Phoenix degree because I'm pursuing you online and from my couch
@bacon_gillepic: A client on the phone accidentally said they love me before they hung up Not gonna lie it felt good