@shahrouzt: My dad recently fell for one of those Nigerian prince scam emails. I feel bad for him but I really needed the money.
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@weenbeans: I'll usually order the chicken sandwich. I like my food to be more cowardly than I am.
@LizHackett: I seem pretty put together for a grown woman who imagines she's traveling through a wormhole each time she pulls a turtleneck over her head.
@kumailn: Advertisers think we're like "Oh a pop-up ad is in the way of the thing I actually want to watch? I should purchase whatever it's selling!"
@buhsbaby_baby: You know what I'd like for Christmas, mom? I'd like you to stop treating me like a child. Also I'd like some money and some new socks.