@shahrouzt: My dad recently fell for one of those Nigerian prince scam emails. I feel bad for him but I really needed the money.
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@itrevormoore: We don't thank them enough for it, but it was really cool that the Black Eyed Peas realized what they were doing was wrong and stopped.
@XplodingUnicorn: Wife: Guess what I did Me: Captured Bigfoot? Wife: I got a great deal on kid's clothes Me: Just so I'm clear, Bigfoot is still out there?
@IamEnidColeslaw: Why aren't the people in old timey photos ever smiling? Because they were in constant danger of getting eaten by dinosaurs. READ A BOOK.
@PaperWash: [death row] Guard: alright tough guy one last meal Me: a cyanide pill Guard: what? no we want to kill you! Me: too bad Guard: aw man