@ryangriffiths: My dad says that if I don't stop typing so loudly, he's gonna slam my face into the fidbdiUHy6hivIifHfGK
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TheTweetOfGod: I care more about the outcome of sporting events than any other aspect of human existence.
@lawblob: Son, its time we had 'the talk.' [dad removes shirt, starts projector, chugs 4 beers] Ok! So Tower 1 steel beams could only have melted at-
@ParaComedian09: If only ISIS had kidnapped Liam Neeson's daughter, none of this would be an issue.
@DaddyJew: Cop: do you know why I pulled you over? Me: *super high* nice try, license and registration