@GrowlyGrego: My dad taught me the importance of having convictions in life. Ten felonies later, I now know that some words have more than one meaning.
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@TheCiscoKidder: Sorry I unfollowed you on Instagram, but you take at least 10 pics of your face everyday. I don't even look at my wife that much.
@Girl_Censored: A 13 yr old just told me I was cool for an old person. I almost slapped her then she said "you're like 23, right? I bought her ice cream.
@lawking30: Making NSA work hard today: just left vm for Senator saying, "drop-off done" & then made a hair appointment at a salon in Lahore, Pakistan.