@NotARatsAss: My dad will walk across the living room with a bowl of soup to the brim, shoelaces untied, because history has taught him nothing.
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@Cain_Unable: 1 Ring to rule them all, 1 Ring to find them, 1 Ring to bring them all & in the darkness bind them. 3 rings to let Mum know you're home safe
@Brampersandon_: [Americas Got Talent] ME: *reads an opinion different than mine online without getting offended* JUDGE (under his breath): how'd he do that
@PsstCaptain: Teens today have it so easy. We didn't have self-checkout lanes when WE bought condoms.