@NotARatsAss: My dad will walk across the living room with a bowl of soup to the brim, shoelaces untied, because history has taught him nothing.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@FinnMcIver: everyone's always saying 'the good ones die young', 'god only takes the best'. so I must be immortal
@TEXASVETERAN: How do you say "I'm sorry I got you pregnant, but my plane leaves in an hour. I might visit the baby one day." in Korean?
@bridger_w: Honestly, Officer, I wouldn't have pulled over had I known you were just going to criticize me