@DanMentos: My dad worked on a car assembly line for 40 years. He retired years ago but still struggles with post pneumatic press disorder.
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@joelu72: [writing my first autopsy report] There was a slight mix-up initially but it turns out the guy died from an accidental autopsy
@Troman88: I hope that when the zombies finally do come, they're all dyslexic and they only go after Brians.
@garthinkingcap: Throughout history they've removed a lot of key parts from the bible, like how Satan nicknamed his loofah "Loofifer."
@carlyken: A psychiatrist is just a friend you pay to listen to your problems because your other friends are tired of hearing about them.