@DanMentos: My dad worked on a car assembly line for 40 years. He retired years ago but still struggles with post pneumatic press disorder.
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@peteholmes: "Honey, have you seen the baby? I haven't seen the baby since I asked you to throw out the bath wat--OH DEAR GOD!!" - birth of an expression
@markydoodoo: I just saw a girl running without headphones and I feel I should call the police. She might be in trouble.
@MomOnFire: Son: Mom, why are you always showing up at my school on chicken nugget day? Me: *literally salivating* Here to see you, buddy.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: All of Ariel's mer-sisters' names started with A too. More like keeping up with the Karsplashians.