@JediGigi: My Daddy taught me to lick it before I stick it- I say to the judges as I hang a spit covered spoon from my nose.
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@Milariou: I go to a gym called Resolutions. It has exercise equipment for the first 2 weeks of each year, then becomes a bar for the remaining 50.
@McGrumpenstein: *Ancient Egypt* Me: My abacus won’t work IT: Hit giant eye + guy holding snakes + big ass bird Me: Nothing IT: Okay, reset *shuffles abacus*
@_NTFG_: In a physio waiting room amongst athletes comparing their stories. I can't wait until my turn when I tell them I slept wrong on my pillow.