@JediGigi: My Daddy taught me to lick it before I stick it- I say to the judges as I hang a spit covered spoon from my nose.
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@Just_Lee_: When someone is murdered, the police investigate the spouse first. And that tells you everything you need to know about marriage.
@AimeeHelene1: When in Texas... *heads into the desert* *hugs cactus* *shoots said cactus* *rides off into the sunset on horseback*
@sad_tree: [courtroom] Lawyer: If you didnt bite that surfers leg THEN WHO DID Shark: I'm telling you idk *whale in the audience opens a big newspaper*