@JediGigi: My Daddy taught me to lick it before I stick it- I say to the judges as I hang a spit covered spoon from my nose.
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@RandomRamblr: Boss: You need to work on your puncuality. Me: Sorry, but commas, are hard, to place. Boss: ....?
@Howiesbookclub: "Daddy, are we poor?" Compared to the vast majority of humans on earth? No. "Compared to my friends?" Oh yes, sweety. As the very dirt.
@withanewname: Neighbor: It's July, you need to take down the xmas lights. Me: It's no worse than your stupid yard gnome. Neighbor: That's my wife.
@SoulYodeler: Omg I'm so thirsty- *Kool-Aid Man busts through wall* OH YEAHH *Sugar-free zero calorie Kool-Aid Man jiggles door handle* LITTLE HELP HERE