@thepatrickwalsh: My dad's visiting soon, which means I need to practice apologizing to waiters with my eyes.
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@AudreyPorne: If you drink 6 RedBulls in less than an hour, they're not allowed to arrest you for stealing a bus. Read the can if you don't believe me.
@imdaintyaf: When I was a little girl dreaming about what life in my thirties might be like, I envisioned way more powerful enemies.