@thepatrickwalsh: My dad's visiting soon, which means I need to practice apologizing to waiters with my eyes.
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@isaaaa: Things I constantly worry about pressing: 1. "Like" while ex stalking 2. Send all drafts 3. A baby's soft spot Yes, this list is in order.
@primawesome: My uncle used to ruin every Thanksgiving with his drinking problem, but now he found Jesus and ruins it with that.
@genehunter1: My Christian friend asked 4 proof there is no God.nnI pointed out Adam Sandler is a multimillionaire movie starnnNow my friend's an atheist
@Green_EyedMama: Watch Forrest Gump *feel inspired *toss orthotics out, go for jog *1/2 block later, keel over and die next to shit happens bumper sticker