@hello_saylor: My daily affirmation before work goes something like this: "I enjoy receiving a paycheck."
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@ShittyComedian: Every time I see a person handing out flyers it blows my mind that some people actually get paid to distribute garbage to strangers.
@underchilde: A jury of my peers would just be 12 people who hate that they had to get up before noon.
@SaraMansford: Steven King, Dean Koontz and Anne Rice have all announced their retirement stating: Nothing we write will ever be scarier than this election
@usermcuserface: If i was going to rob someone I'd wear a fanny pack, jorts, and crocs. Nobody would believe them.