@DaveWeasel: My dance moves are so white Charlie Sheen tried to snort them.
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@DaddysinCharge: Every time we take our dog to obedience school I can't help but think about everything that we did wrong when we were training our kids.
@Cheeseboy22: Parenting tip: If your kids are fighting in the back seat of the car, stick your arm over and swing it around a bunch. That'll show em'.
@shwebby2: If you want to interrogate someone, do it in German You could say "I love you and brought you flowers" and I'd shit myself!
@AristotlesNZ: Txt my wife to ask if the gardener came & how 5yo's 1st day of school was. She txt back "He's naked on the couch". I'm afraid to ask who..