@DaveWeasel: My dance moves are so white Charlie Sheen tried to snort them.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@undeadmolly: Not usually a big fan of God, but I have admit telling Cruz to run for president then making him lose to a reality TV clown was an A+ prank.
@BradBroaddus: My kids are very optimistic. Every glass they leave sitting around the house is at least half full.
@Prof_Peejay: Her:"What do you do?" Me:"I teach astronomy." Her:"OMG!! I'm a Sagitarius! Can you see my future?" Me:"Yes, you'll go home alone tonight."