@DaveWeasel: My dance moves are so white Charlie Sheen tried to snort them.
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@Queen_Sassy_AF: *first date* Him: Favorite animal? Her: Panaver Him: Huh? Her: A cross between a panda and beaver because I am lazy but love wood.
@TheFunnyWorId: I refused to believe my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.
@trevso_electric: turns out the 'kkk' are not just a group of guys who are very agreeable in their text messages :(
@glo_stevens: Mama said there'd be days like this, and also "knock you out" ??? I don't know, you talk to her. She sounds drunk.