@handokotjung: How to be happier: 1. Exercise 2. Lift weight 3. When you've become stronger due to those exercises, smack the person who made you unhappy.

@feelmesucka: Unless you and your family were attacked by Bigfoot, then no, I don't want to see your camping pictures.

@liliths_lair: The real reason women will never be the ones to propose: As soon as she gets on her knees, he will start unzipping his pants.

@CraigBanksArt: Dear #Athiests Evolution could never design and create a machine that consumes scraps and produces bacon

@IamJackBoot: Bugs Bunny taught me my choices aren’t limited to fight or flight, I can also pretend I’m a pretty lady.