@FirstDateStory: "My date took me to a nice restaurant. Our server leaned in to me and said, "You're the third one this week"
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@slimmy_shady: Hey I worked for it too!
@rob5373: I choked on a carrot earlier and all I could think of is that a donut wouldn't have done that to me.
@1Happytwit: Firemen are always really friendly, until they figure out it was you that started the fire.
@lovejulieayn: Snoop Dogg; Shake what'cha momma gave you. Me; Ummm... ok. <vigorously shakes a frozen lasagna>
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