@IamEveryDayPpl: My daughter, a hair stylist, has a tiny pair of scissors tattooed behind her ear with tiny red teardrops for clients she accidently stabbed.
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@Smethanie: I bet Ryan Gosling doesn't even blow his candles out. He probably just winks at them and they faint.
@ZombieProblms: I hate being the walking dead. I wish I could be the driving dead. Even the bus riding dead would do.
@AbrasiveGhost: ME: [on the phone] Plz come home from work WIFE: Why ME: Theres a spider in the bathroom WIFE: so kill it ME:[whispering] its got my gun
@Rlpihl: [Family Feud] What's your answer?! *whispers into microphone* Please help me, I don't even know these people