@KermitSnitchs: "My daughter ain't dating no black lab"
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@ShutUpThatsWho: [spelling bee] JUDGE: your word is 'contempt' ME: can you use it in a sentence? JUDGE: [mocking voice] can you use it in a sentence?
@abbycohenwl: *releases helium-filled heart balloon* Me: You're free now Balloon: Ima choke a bird
@JennyJohnsonHi5: When I was a kid I was so afraid of being kidnapped until my mom assured me there was no way in Hell anyone would ever want to take me.
@FinnMcIver: our teacher used to make us do 100 lines if we'd been naughty. my nose was wrecked at the end of it