@just1fool: My daughter asked me how much longer until she can be a grown up and I said, "no."
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@TheAlexP: * see weird traffic pattern * turns down radio * smoothly avoids gargantuan pothole * runs over sign saying avoid gargantuan pothole
@CakeThrottle: [Interview with a time traveller] "What's life like in the year 3000?" It's pretty much the same as 2015 but you can download a towel
@Social_Mime: Wife - We're invited to a gender reveal party. Me - I always knew Ralph wanted to be a woman. W - It's for a baby Me - Ralph is pregnant?