@just1fool: My daughter asked me how much longer until she can be a grown up and I said, "no."
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@weinerdog4life: If you love something keep it in the refrigerator, keep it fresh, that thing you love is a lot like mayonnaise.
@BlindChow: "You lie like a doge!" I tell my wife. "So deceit!" I add. "Very fraud!" I mention. "Much fiction!" I point out. "Wow," she says.
@Robert_Beau: I just released a new fragrance, and the people on this elevator are not happy about it.