@just1fool: My daughter asked me if it was illegal to be blind which tells me I didn't explain "legally blind" very well.
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@toriTBC: When a guy texts "your beautiful," reply with "my beautiful what?" then laugh and laugh and never talk to that nice idiot again.
@samalmightysam: You're born, you grow up, you start listening to a Pink Floyd song, you get married, have kids, you die, the song hasn't finished.
@KirstenCatClub: Things a raccoon and I have in common: 1) Dark circles around the eyes. 2) Likes eating junk. 3) We're both cute but will kill you.