@4boding: My daughter asked me to help her find a job because she’s learned enough in school. She’s 5.
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@Hellaphantitis: "So let's name the turtles after the most influential artists and their sensei we'll name after this lil piece of wood stuck in my foot"
@MelKassel: *pulling up to toll both with megaphone in hand* Booth operator: ma'am please not again Me: someBODY once tolled me—
@SamSykesSwears: "If Bernie doesn't get the nom, I'm voting Trump." "Also, if McDonald's is out of chicken nuggets, I'm going to eat 20 scorpions."