@girl_a_whirl: My daughter complained we were out of snacks so I lifted the couch cushions.
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@beerfartchamp: I just witnessed a co worker eat a cupcake with no frosting. What kind of devil worshiping nonsense is this?
@thepunningman: "How many volunteers do we have for my evil army?" 384 my liege "Ok, round them up" 400 my liege
@LisaACOTA: Dollar Tree clerk asked me to fill out a survey to maybe win a $500 gift card and I was like I don't need to own a whole dollar store thanks