@Peauxtassium: My daughter forgot to bring her lunch to school today. It was delicious.
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@runninforwine: Mom said I could be anything I wanted to be when I grew up. So I became sarcastic.
@eddiesnextwife: My ice maker broke and now I have to make ice, in trays. I'll be on Pinterest looking for a recipe.
@Heather2Go: To support all you Movember guys, I'm not shaving my legs this month. To be honest, I probably won't shave in Mecember or Manuary either.
@mattsurely: Me: What do you call sex in December? Wife: Don't say it. Me: ... W: ... Me: Wintercourse. W: (to judge) See this is why I need a divorce.