@MelvinofYork: My daughter gets all bossy when we’re playing with her Barbies, but I just smile. Then when she’s at school I play with them the way I want.
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@P1ssed_K1d: Accidentally played dad instead of dead when I encountered a bear and now it can ride a bike without training wheels. #circuseverydamnday
@rachelle_mandik: him: are you going to scarborough fair? me: yeah. him: if you see my ex, ask her to make me a shirt and buy me some land? me: dude, wtf?
@Jandalize: As a mom of 18 & 20 year olds: save while your kids are young, then at graduation, buy yourself a new car & send them to community college.