@AndyAsAdjective: My daughter has recently become deathly afraid of our cat. So I'm going to have to get rid of her. At least I'll have my cat to comfort me.
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@better_off_dad: 13: Can I have the password for Amazon? Me: Certainly, honey. Ready? 13: Yep Me: I-N-Y-O-U-R-D-R-E-A-M-S
@ShivangiJha08: 9y/o~poking finger on my face. Me(yelling)~dont touch me with your finger Later~glad he got loophole now what to do with a foot on my face
@SortaBad: John: Hey Jude... Paul: Don't make it bad George: Take a sad song... Ringo: So weird how coffee is yummy hot or cold but gross in-between
@david8hughes: "Write this down." [Moses grabs tablet] "Thou shalt have no other Gods bef-" "Slow down, fella. It's gonna take me an hour to carve 'Thou'."