@richardosman: My daughter is in China and sends me photos of mis-translations. This is my new favourite.
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@SteveSuckington: [100 year old man on job interview] "Do you have any references?" Sure, hold on. *pulls out Ouija board*
@AmericanGent69: Wife: You'll never guess what I got you for your birthday. Me: A 3-way with your sister? Wife: *storms out Me: omg did I ruin the surprise?
@AnkCoupleTO: [coming out of coma] Doc: You survived the heart attack Me: I'm going to eat right & get fit D: *shows me hospital bill* M: *pulls plug*