@richardosman: My daughter is in China and sends me photos of mis-translations. This is my new favourite.
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@TheFraudMallu: My grandmother reads obituary column in the newspaper everyday. It is pretty much like searching for your childhood friends on Facebook.
@UncleDuke1969: Hello! Is it me you're looking for? Hello! Is it me you're looking for? Hello! Is it me you're looking for? (Lionel Richie, speed dating)
@therealeatwood: DATE: I chose this restaurant for the ambience. ME: Ah, very good. [to waiter] A bottle of your finest Ambiens, please.
@KentWGraham: The movie scene where discarded clothes lead to lovers in bed, except it’s my clothes leading to my wife picking them up and cursing me.