@richardosman: My daughter is in China and sends me photos of mis-translations. This is my new favourite.
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@PoorEvelyn: Queen Elizabeth is celebrating 60 years on the throne. I assume it was something she ate.
@KKAlThani: Relationship tip: every night text yourself "Good morning love!" & turn off your phone real quick to wake up with a good morning text.
@kittykaresless: Boss confused me with another employee and fired me. Then called two days later to fire me for not showing up for 2 days. #HowIGotFired