@karri_leigh: My daughter is playing "you can't find me, Mommy"... I'm playing "I'm not trying, Suckaaaa".
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@markleggett: I often think "Why would anyone live in Gotham? It's a shithole!", but then you choose to live in the shithole that is [YOUR CITY NAME].
@AaronFullerton: USA: "Hey nachos, today's your big day!" Nachos: "What about Cinco de Mayo?" USA: "What'd you just say?" Nachos: "Nothing."
@carebear4647: No Twitter crush. I have a twitter boyfriend who I intend to marry and have twitter babies. Then twitter divorce and take all his followers.
@mortimermaiden: *breaks glass* *pulls fire alarm* [outside] Great, now that you're all here, I want to correct this impression in the office that I'm weird.