@Boleyngirly: My daughter just announced she's SICK of stupid-ass people. I said "Oh darlin, you're gonna feel ill for a long time.. they're everywhere."
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@breatheandlove: On the news: there's a shortage of maternity-ward staff. You could say it's a bit of a…*looks away* *mumbles* MIDWIFE crisis! (…sorry.)
@STEELERS1972: So I met this hooker who said she'd do anything for ten bucks . Guess who got his yard cut?
@millercycle: me: *tries to put in eyedrop* eyelid: just to be safe, let’s assume the eye drops are actually acid
@joekjoek: How powerful must it feel for the dentist to start referring to your teeth by their secret "numbers" to the hygienist