@KelliAgodon: My daughter just found this vintage ad for birth control.
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@QwertyJones3: [Halftime speech] Ok guys, we're down 56-0, but I see the problem. There's a typo in my game plan. It should say "tackle", not "tickle".
@tokyo_sexwhale: If you fill your girlfriend's hair dryer with talcum powder & glitter you end up with an angry ex-girlfriend who looks like a sparkly ghost.
@BlairLoudly: Your password must include 5 minutes of interpretive dance, 15 excerpts from contemporary fiction and 1 word made up by Shakespeare.
@WPLGLocal10: Man arrested after accidentally texting probation officer asking if he had any weed