@Thee1_4U: My daughter just said that I'm the best dad she's ever had. So I got that going for me.
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@JimmerThatisAll: The problem with Chinese food is an hour later you feel like hacking the Pentagon again.
@KeetPotato: baby moses: [crying] mum: "why wont he stop" dad: "throw him in the river lol" mum: "okay" this is from a book called the bible
@jimmytorosian: Me: Have a taste of your own medicine *I force the pills the Dr. prescribed for me down his throat* Me: WHO HAS ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION NOW?!
@MomOfTeen: If by "junk in the trunk" you mean the untouched gym bag I store there, then yes, I most certainly have junk in my trunk.