@Thee1_4U: My daughter just said that I'm the best dad she's ever had. So I got that going for me.
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@ceejoyner: For starters, you drew your mom the same size as the house. Good enough for the fridge? I don't even want it in my garbage.
@BonaFideIntent: Keep your friends close & your enemies, in your trunk. Unless you're crossing a border. Then don't do that.
@ozzyunc: "As a creative person I'm often asked where I get my ideas." Yeah. As a creative person you often imagine people doing that but they don't.
@smirkykev: In my experience, the quickest way to escape Jury Duty? As they read out the charges, yell out, "Oh c'mon...even I've done THAT!"