@Just__J0: My daughter labeled me BIRTH GIVER in her phone. I'm thinking about labeling her THANKS FOR WHAT YOU DID TO MY BODY.
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@SaraESpivey: My boss just farted. I asked him if he was trying to get the condom out. He's mad now.
@bingowings14: I tried some Dirty Dancing in a neighbour's herb garden. I had the thyme of my life.
@sip_at_home_mom: 2016 took so many beautiful, talented men I've loved my entire life. Seems unfair that I still have to dodge my ex at the grocery store.
@Home_Halfway: Not sure what to do with your hands while on a date? Carry two swords. Next question