@Mr_Kapowski: My daughter lost her 1st tooth today so I'm staying up all night to see The Rock in a tutu.
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@looktothepickle: Girl, tonight I'm gonna let my body do all the talking.. *squishes flab together to make a mouth out of my bellybutton* HELLOOO! LA LA LAA!
@FirstDateStory: "Went to watch a movie, I was wearing shorts and he swiped his finger on my leg. Later found out he wiped his booger on me"
@bingowings14: My dad always used to say 'if you take care of the small things, the big things take care of themselves'. This cost him his job at the zoo.