@evanrhorne: My daughter made the carpet hot lava and I'm afraid I'll be late for work now.
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@vanluvz1: Any fountain can be a Fountain of Youth if filled with champagne and you've had 5 glasses.
@VerifiedJayy: Good friends are hard to find. Especially if they stabbed me in the back. In fact you won't find them officer. Stop looking
@Deirdreocx: [Cops have a warrant for my arrest] Cops: you're coming with us! *Plays the Benny Hill theme on my phone & runs away* Foot chase ensues.