@simoncholland: My daughter put a horse's head in my bed this morning. It was from an animal cracker but conveyed the message pretty clearly who is boss.
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@dlsims01: Invitations: $10 Cupcakes: $15 Facility rental: $100 Not having 20 kids in my house: priceless Math of a mother
@TheTweetOfGod: When people say "To be honest...", it means that up to that point they've been lying.
@Vodkantots: So do people not like it when you tell them they could totally do better after meeting their spouse? Flattery is hard.
@seagullski: I'm in charge of eight kids tonight. No big deal though I can be really responsib-- I'm in charge of seven kids tonight. No big deal though