@jiggynye: My daughter refuses to play with her Ouija Board anymore because every time we play, it spells out CLEAN YOUR ROOM.
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@TheDizzyBeauty: Kinda creepy that my kids got in a screaming match over which one is my favorite since I don't have any kids.
@SortaBad: "I have a coupon for a large 2 topping" "What toppings?" "Pepperoni & a small cheese pizza" "Sir you can't top a pizza with a smaller pizza"
@iwearaonesie: wife: Why is there a broom in the driveway? me: So your mom doesn't have to borrow the car
@quikkim: *Approaches a guy reading "Catch Me If You Can"* I love that book. The way he just *clenches fist* catches all those freakin' cans.