@tacsanitchiban: My daughter ruined her Halloween costume. Gonna wrap her in aluminum foil and send her out as a leftover.
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@Playing_Dad: If you give a man a PS4, he will play for a day. If that man buys the PS4 he will not shower for 2 months.
@KalvinMacleod: Baby sharks can hunt for food as soon as they are born and my children cannot find their underwear drawer.
@faizziy: Whenever a long lost friend calls me, I get suspicious & wonder if he's calling me to sell Amway products..
@Bill_Nye_Tho__: elephants sleep standing up you could be chillin with an elephant and at any moment they could just be like "lmao for sure, g'night"