@tacsanitchiban: My daughter ruined her Halloween costume. Gonna wrap her in aluminum foil and send her out as a leftover.
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@Jacob_Swift16: A cop just told me that i have way too many buddha statues for there to not be drugs in the house
@ObscureGent: Home Alone teaches us that a child can't pack a suitcase but can create a fully functional flame thrower to harm a small New Jersey man.
@Marlebean: If you asked me to bring a dish to your party, just know that I snacked on it the whole way to your house.