@tacsanitchiban: My daughter ruined her Halloween costume. Gonna wrap her in aluminum foil and send her out as a leftover.
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@PaperWash: The Bible is so unrealistic, Noah's wife would have never allowed two spiders on that boat.
@underchilde: [lying naked in bed] Her: Tell me your fantasy. Me: Well, I get in my car to drive to work, and for the entire trip, there is no traffic.
@maymay72x: Smoke a joint before hitting a buffet to really get your money's worth... Just saying.