@ValeeGrrl: My daughter spelled America "Merica" on a book report so now I'm searching her room for Trump campaign propaganda.
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@HatfieldAnne: With literally no way of knowing if you were cursed by an evil witch as a baby, why would you take a spinning class?
@mydanimarie: Sometimes I order Domino's but give them Pizza Hut's address. And when they show up and start fighting, just wait with my mouth open.