@PLATINUM2000: My daughter thought putting glue on her hands would help her walk up the walls, we're both a little disappointed that it didn't work.
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@Huber138: Me: Would you like to be a model? Her: yes Me: are you comfortable with nudity? Her: Sure Me:
@JimGaffigan: Hate weight limit signs in the elevator. Then I’m put in the awkward position of telling some pregnant woman she has to take the stairs.
@AlexvanBeek: Being a bigger account doesn't make you a better person. We're all terrible people. We're on twitter. I threw a baby at a fox this morning.