@simoncholland: My daughter wants to be really scary this Halloween so instead of a costume she is going to carry a school fundraising packet to every door.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TheTweetOfGod: The platypus is what happens when you take a perfectly good concept and send it to network executives for notes.
@MrsRupertPupkin: My cat tried to knock over my TV this morning. WHY ARE MY BEST FRIENDS FIGHTING?!
@ashlar36: I'm going to complain about the cold until a Canadian gets mad enough to say something rude, like 'I'm sorry but it's colder in Canada."
@HairyJew4Life: Why would you stay friends with an ex-girlfriend? When you get fired from a job, you don't stay around and watch other people do your job.