@thecrabbyhook: My daughter wants to know when the hamster we "planted" in the garden will start growing.
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@HatfieldAnne: For two years in high school, I took guitar lessons. Something interesting I learned is that guitar resale nets a 45% loss.
@ThatsSarcasm: *Picking up my kid from school in 20 years* Me: Yo shawty leggo. Kid: Please no. Me: Stop hating YOLO. Kid: You're embarrassing. Me: Swag.
@sofarrsogud: MOM: Any plans tonight? ME: Me and the guys heading out to find us some ladees *shoots finger guns HER: So Pokemon Go with Gary? M: Yessss