@thecrabbyhook: My daughter wants to know when the hamster we "planted" in the garden will start growing.
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@SirEviscerate: ME: I was left in the woods as a baby. DATE: So, were you raised by wolves? ME: Not exactly. *gnaws a tree in half*
@Brentweets: I hired a person to randomly show up throughout the day and put baskets of bread on my desk.
@buttgh0st: COP: can anybody else describe the suspect? JOHN LENNON: he got feet down below his knees COP: anybody