@StellaGMaddox: My daughter wrote, "I will see you every day of our lives," on my Mother's Day card, so I guess we've resorted to threats now.
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@bombsydoll: What is WRONG with you??? Me: *slowly counting on fingers* let's see... ok... carry the 1... um... That would be everything
@KKAlThani: Next time you're not feeling hungry, tell yourself you're going on a diet in an hour & you'll unleash the starving African child inside you.
@PsychoCesc: The awkward moment when someone's zipper is down & you don't know whether to tell, because you can't explain why you were looking that low.
@too_chihuahua: "How much are these glasses?" "$150 sir" "I guess you could say" *puts on sunglasses* *runs out without another word*