@Jandalize: My daughter's boyfriend left his wallet here. I put girls names & numbers in it. Later today I'll ask my daughter if he has change for a $20
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@vladchoc: Are you tired of greasy pots and pans? Stubborn kitchen stains? Messy sponges and sprays? Me too. I wish the sun would devour the earth.
@jake_lach: The best thing about weed is it teaches you that it's okay to take 35 minutes to make a sandwich
@stevevsninjas: Surgeon: Appendectomies are tricky, you sure you got this? Dr. Wacky Inflatable Tube Man: *flings scalpel into ceiling* You bet!