@Jandalize: My daughter's boyfriend left his wallet here. I put girls names & numbers in it. Later today I'll ask my daughter if he has change for a $20
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@DrunksWithGuns: Me: Don't look at me that way. Everyone pees in the shower. Her: Yes. Most people have the shower running. M: H: Please leave Home Depot.
@Try2StopME: A baby was born laughing really hard with it's fists closed! The confused Doctor unfolded it's tiny fingers, & found a birth control pill.
@LMHPhotog: Ancient Man: Out of water. Let's walk 10,000 miles to a fresh continent. Modern Man: Fridge is empty. Guess I'll just die in my kitchen.
@aecide: Killing mosquitoes by smashing them in mid-air as they fly by is so satisfying until you accidentally hit a person in the head.